With 2011 on the cusp of exiting and 2012 literally in sight it makes you stop and reflect on the past year, years before and what lies ahead.. Lessons learned, hills climbed and some defeats…..at least it does for me… I enjoy reflecting I think if people would do it more often they’d learn so much about not only themselves but others….as we don’t always, can’t always see or take in the lesson or insight at the exact moment it’s occurred…
Over the past few years I’ve learnt a lot..the importance of learning from every experience, that the hardest events in our lives hold the most important lessons, self reflection is such a valuable asset…and one should always look at each situation from the others perspective, even if you still don’t agree.. understanding is huge….I’ve also leant forgiveness, and letting go of what you cannot control is vital to not only your health but overall well being as well…
2011 was huge for lessons….. First I was finally able to fully put into words “ There is no such thing as a bad day…sometimes we have a few hiccups along a 24hr period”… In the twenty 26 years I’ve been on this earth I’ve had my fair share of “hiccups“….leaving home at the age of fifteen due to circumstances no child should ever endure, having to work since I was 11 and three jobs to get myself through high school and into college, a car accident that left me not walking for two years, the death of my mother and of course the “loss” of a father figure…..All of which I’m TRULY grateful happened… I know some may think I’m nuts..but there truly is so much good that has come out of each “hiccup” and I wouldn’t change a thing….I really wouldn’t…..
If I wouldn’t of left at fifteen, I may have turned bitter ( Ive always been a glass half full, a smile can fix the worse day and someone if fighting a harded battle kind of girl..but it‘s possible)…instead I learned that what I was living wasn’t “ normal” and that life truly did have so much more in store for me.. As well as the gratifying feeling when you’ve done something on your own, succeeded and seen the look on those who doubted you. Working taught me at an early age how to manage money, I was to young to even think of applying for a credit card and banks didn’t take a fifteen year old seriously so you need to know your facts going into everything…I also learnt that with hard work I could achieve anything I wanted to, and at the end of the day even at fifteen the only person I had to blame was myself. My car accident made me into the Nurse I am today, at eighteen I was no were near mature enough or had enough life experience to make me the Nurse ” I wanted to be”. The two years of not walking taught me patience…how amazing ones body is and showed me how lucky I was to have such Amazing people in my life. The loss of my Mum no doubt was unbelievably hard, and I wish she was here to see the milestones I’ve hit since her death…. but makes the moments I was able to share with her that much more special. Everyone will lose there Mother unfortunately at some point in their life….it unfortunately is one of the inevitable…and regardless if your twenty one like I was, sixteen or sixty five it’s still going to hurt…. My mom had cancer…and I’m thankful for the opportunity it gave me..Cancer is a horrible disease, and no one wants to hear those words..go through the treatments, tests, wait…wait …some more…watch your loved ones fade away or endure unbelievable amounts of pain…but…. with all the bad there is so much good.. I was given 6 months with my Mum…where I knew it was more then likely the end..I was able to say all the “I love you’s “ one can speak in a day. I was able to hold her hand through each “hiccup”, kiss her forehead as she took her last breath and at the end of the day I was able to go to sleep knowing I gave her my all and did the best I could. I learned the greatest lesson from losing my Mum which was.. don’t waist saying what you need to on tomorrow. Say the I love you’s, the Thankyou’s and the I appreciate you’s now… because you never know if you’ll have tomorrow.
The lessons I’ve learned in the past few years lead up to being proven, tried and tested in 2011... The best thing about 2011 that I’ll pack along into 2012 is how important not only ensuring you say what you need to in the present that you are really “present” in each moment and to take pictures, lots of them... My goal for the year was to be “present” in every minute of everyday. If I found myself running into what was happening in the next hour what I was going to do next week, that I’d consciously make the effort to stop take a deep breath re group and to enjoy what was right in front of me.
As most of you know I took Laken to Scotland this summer with that “goal” in tow! Knowing I had an Aunt who is fighting cancer and wanting to ensure I enjoyed every moment with her as well as with everyone we were going to visit. I had an Amazing time with my Aunt, was able to spend an evening with her and my Uncle Malky going through old photos, asking questions about her life, my Grandma’s ( whom I never got the chance to meet) as well as what type of child my Mum was…I was 100% “present” while we visited and will cherish it forever. I also visited with my Uncle Billy while I was over and too made the conscious effort to be “present“, to not think about our weeks plans but to enjoy every minute. I was able to thank him for being such a great influence in my life and more of a “grandpa” then an Uncle. The best visit by far with him and his wife I’ve ever had, anticipating that I would see him many more times in the future, but knowing the lessons I’ve been so lucky to learn left nothing unsaid…..We retuned to Canada and two weeks upon returning my Uncle died of a massive heart attack…I’ll miss him so but have full peace in my heart knowing I fully took in the day spent with him and that he knew how important he was to me and how grateful I was he got to meet my son…
Five days before leaving for Scotland, my Uncle Eric popped into my head…just a passing thought. I knew he was embarking on a motorcycle trip across Montana in preparation for a bigger ride for Hepatitis C awareness for health care professionals as he was fighting the disease himself and thought I should email him….thankfully I did….I told him how I wished I wasn’t working so I could see him off.. how he inspired me, how I was so thankful for the “father figure” he brought into my life and that I wished him only blue skies on his trip… He was killed the next day in a motorcycle accident….I can’t express how thankful I am for each “hiccup” I’ve had and that I’ve been able to benefit from each lesson… After losing my Uncle Eric, I learnt how important pictures are….even if you feel your being a bother, they are such a nice keep sake…as I have none of the two of us…and was able to use that lesson when we went to Scotland. Laken wont remember meeting my Uncle Billy but I have some amazing pictures of the two of them to share with him when he gets older!
So here is to 2012, may you too benefit from the lessons I was blessed to learn. Live each day, Truly live it be present in each moment as it‘s not coming back! Never miss an opportunity to say the things that are important to you and take lots of pictures!! I cannot wait for 2012 and all the “hiccups” sent my way as each “lesson” learned is a step up in my books! From my family to yours all the best in 2012!!
~ Goal for 2012 is to embrace myself a little bit more … to try not to be soo critical of what I see as flaws…
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Our Annual Babes Christmas Party~
I know I say it often but I really am blessed to have these Ladies and babes in not only my life, but my family’s lives as well. The power of a woman is inconceivable and to see the mole hills and mountains each one of them has over come, climbed and conquered since we all embarked on our journeys of becoming mothers in 2009 has been unbelievable. Not only are they all unique, intelligent, compassionate, and strong but they are all Amazing mothers. It’s such a reassuring feeling that you have the support, sound board and understanding of such amazing women .That in itself truly makes the job of being a Mom that much more enjoyable. To know someone is feeling the same way, going through the same thing and you have them to talk to is beyond words. We try and get together once a month to visit and talk about our kids, life, careers and of course husbands, something I thoroughly enjoy and know I need in my life.
So again this year we threw the kids a Christmas party, full of fun treats, snacks, play and of course presents! Each Child got sent home with a personalized sled Mark and I made them to hang on their tree as well as a gingerbread pop and present. Terri also sent each of the kids home with a pair of finger mittens. It’s so neat to see them all play together and interact I’m not sure who enjoys the parties more…the kids or the parents…! Here are some pictures form the party!
So again this year we threw the kids a Christmas party, full of fun treats, snacks, play and of course presents! Each Child got sent home with a personalized sled Mark and I made them to hang on their tree as well as a gingerbread pop and present. Terri also sent each of the kids home with a pair of finger mittens. It’s so neat to see them all play together and interact I’m not sure who enjoys the parties more…the kids or the parents…! Here are some pictures form the party!
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| Laken waiting for all his friends to arrive |
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| Lily, Lily's Mom Michelle, Taya and Laken chowing down |
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| Visiting |
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| Laken, Gabby and Lily playing |
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| picking our gifts from Santa's Bag :) |
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| Laken's turn |
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| Caroline and Nolan |
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| everyone opening gifts :) |
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| Laken with his Books! |
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| Laken and Lily |
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| Laken and Gabby |
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| Gabby, Laken, Lily and Marisol |
Friday, December 30, 2011
In The Lane Snow Is Glistening……..
December 8th, 2011
The Christmas Season is now among us and we can’t wait for Santa’s arrival on the 25th! With that though I’ve found these last few year that people put was to emphasis on the Day and forget about the true meaning….to enjoy spending time with family and friends. Society is so wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life its nice to have some time through out the year when you get a “pass” to leave work at work and thoroughly enjoy your time at home, with friends and indulge just a little bit more…Just some of the thing I feel should be worked into everyday life, not just in December!
This month hasn’t been any different the any of the others just as busy if not busier! Laken and I are enjoying our time at home, and the thoughts of buying pink are almost surreal and so exciting! I would have been just as elated if it would have been a boy, but it’s always nice to experience both…Not only that prior to my Mum getting sick and dying she purchased two outfits on our first trip to Scotland…One for a little boy and one for a little girl, intuition maybe.. regardless it’s heart warming to know they’ll each have something just from her! Laken is beyond excited to have a little sister and I can’t wait to see the bond they develop. We’ve had two friends deliver little girls and have a total of eight friends not including ourselves who too are expecting or have had little brothers or sisters, so Laken think everyone gets one and is soo excited to see everyone’s babies it’s beyond Amazing to watch!
We ended November with putting up our tree, decorating and baking, followed by Christmas parties, Doctor appointments, Play dates, more Christmas Parties, family gatherings and day trips… Soon to be followed by more visiting with family, friends and then it’s Christmas! It’s unbelievable how having children of your own can re-instill that childhood excitement about Christmas morning! Mark and I both cannot wait to put milk and cookies out with Laken as he talks about it regularly, and to see his face when he wakes up to see the gifts Santa has left him….The starting of new and old traditions is something Mark and I also look forward to! Here are a few pictures of our month so far! I’ll post in a separate post pictures from our Annual Babes Christmas party!
Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas! As well as Health, Love and Laughter in 2012! Xox
Mark, Ashley, Laken and Bump!
December, 2011
Christmas Letter~
Dear; Family and Friends
~The Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons.
It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”~
This year from our home to yours, we too are wishing you and yours a Christmas that means a little bit more! The excitement for Christmas this year started in about July….yep Christmas movies in July with Laken discovering shortly after that Santa brings gifts to good little boys and girls…So he’s been informing us every morning since, that indeed Santa will be bringing him not only a Bike, the Movie cars but a few other things as well. It’s going to be a long wait for Christmas morning, but I cannot wait to see the look on his face when it does come!
We say it every year, where on earth has the year gone? This year is no different, 2011 almost seems like a blur and it’s hard to believe 2012 is right around the corner! The biggest news in our house of course is that, we will be expecting a Baby come on or around April 25th, 2012! We are beyond excited and cannot wait for another little being to love! Laken too tells anyone who will listen to him, that the Easter Bunny this year is bringing him a Baby! Hope he soon realizes that this is the only Easter he gets a Baby!
This year started out slow and cold! Winter seemed to stick around a little bit longer this year! With that though we still managed to stay busy! Between both Mark and I working, play dates, swimming lessons, pre-preschool and weekend activities I honestly don’t know where the months went….The transition back to work has been good and of course there is never a shortage of people needing surgeries! Mark’s work has been busy as well and he’s still loving being out at the mine. He recently moved to an apartment closer to his work and is now staying in Elkford instead of Sparwood, which decreases how much he has to drive and increases the amount he gets to sleep the four days he’s gone.
In July Laken and I boarded a plane to Scotland and took my Aunty Trudy with us, as Mark couldn’t get the time off to come along. We went not only to visit
family, show Aunty the sights but also because my beautiful cousin Ashleigh was getting married. The Trip was Amazing, very emotional and bitter sweet. Sweet because I was able to share something so close to my heart with Laken, as well as
the opportunity to introduce him to the Amazing family we have over in Scotland. Slightly bitter because I know my Mum would have loved to see Laken with everyone and it would have been nice to have Mark with us as well. My cousin’s wedding was beyond breath taking and one for the royal books for sure! I’ve never had such and experience nor will I, I’m sure! Laken donned a kilt and looked every bit the part. He did so well on the trip, adjusted well and slept everywhere and any where! Mark and I truly are lucky! We were able to visit lots of family, but of course it’s never long enough and I so wish they were closer! Hopefully some will be over to visit after Babe arrives!
With each new life that enters of course it seems that one leaves and I unfortunately lost my wonderful Uncle Eric July 1st who was an inspiration to all and truly reminded us to live life to the fullest. Shortly after returning from Scotland I also lost my Great Uncle Billy who too will be sorely missed…We have a few more angles watching over us this year..
In August Laken Celebrated his 2nd Birthday Car’s style and loved every minute of it. We are truly blessed to have such amazing family and friends within our lives who made his day extra special! Fall seemed to follow quickly behind with pumpkin festivals, drive in movies and of course tricker treating ! Each year and holiday becomes all the more fun and exciting with Laken. He has thoughts and ideas on everything and most definitely isn’t afraid to share! (no idea where he gets that from….)
With 2012 just around the bend, 2011 has set it up to be a pretty Amazing year and I cannot wait to see what the New year will bring! Wishing all of you Health, Love and Laughter this holiday season with a little bit more!
The Cesar’s
Mark, Ashley, Laken and Bump!
The Christmas Season is now among us and we can’t wait for Santa’s arrival on the 25th! With that though I’ve found these last few year that people put was to emphasis on the Day and forget about the true meaning….to enjoy spending time with family and friends. Society is so wrapped up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life its nice to have some time through out the year when you get a “pass” to leave work at work and thoroughly enjoy your time at home, with friends and indulge just a little bit more…Just some of the thing I feel should be worked into everyday life, not just in December!
This month hasn’t been any different the any of the others just as busy if not busier! Laken and I are enjoying our time at home, and the thoughts of buying pink are almost surreal and so exciting! I would have been just as elated if it would have been a boy, but it’s always nice to experience both…Not only that prior to my Mum getting sick and dying she purchased two outfits on our first trip to Scotland…One for a little boy and one for a little girl, intuition maybe.. regardless it’s heart warming to know they’ll each have something just from her! Laken is beyond excited to have a little sister and I can’t wait to see the bond they develop. We’ve had two friends deliver little girls and have a total of eight friends not including ourselves who too are expecting or have had little brothers or sisters, so Laken think everyone gets one and is soo excited to see everyone’s babies it’s beyond Amazing to watch!
We ended November with putting up our tree, decorating and baking, followed by Christmas parties, Doctor appointments, Play dates, more Christmas Parties, family gatherings and day trips… Soon to be followed by more visiting with family, friends and then it’s Christmas! It’s unbelievable how having children of your own can re-instill that childhood excitement about Christmas morning! Mark and I both cannot wait to put milk and cookies out with Laken as he talks about it regularly, and to see his face when he wakes up to see the gifts Santa has left him….The starting of new and old traditions is something Mark and I also look forward to! Here are a few pictures of our month so far! I’ll post in a separate post pictures from our Annual Babes Christmas party!
Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas! As well as Health, Love and Laughter in 2012! Xox
Mark, Ashley, Laken and Bump!
December, 2011
Christmas Letter~
Dear; Family and Friends
~The Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons.
It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”~
This year from our home to yours, we too are wishing you and yours a Christmas that means a little bit more! The excitement for Christmas this year started in about July….yep Christmas movies in July with Laken discovering shortly after that Santa brings gifts to good little boys and girls…So he’s been informing us every morning since, that indeed Santa will be bringing him not only a Bike, the Movie cars but a few other things as well. It’s going to be a long wait for Christmas morning, but I cannot wait to see the look on his face when it does come!
We say it every year, where on earth has the year gone? This year is no different, 2011 almost seems like a blur and it’s hard to believe 2012 is right around the corner! The biggest news in our house of course is that, we will be expecting a Baby come on or around April 25th, 2012! We are beyond excited and cannot wait for another little being to love! Laken too tells anyone who will listen to him, that the Easter Bunny this year is bringing him a Baby! Hope he soon realizes that this is the only Easter he gets a Baby!
This year started out slow and cold! Winter seemed to stick around a little bit longer this year! With that though we still managed to stay busy! Between both Mark and I working, play dates, swimming lessons, pre-preschool and weekend activities I honestly don’t know where the months went….The transition back to work has been good and of course there is never a shortage of people needing surgeries! Mark’s work has been busy as well and he’s still loving being out at the mine. He recently moved to an apartment closer to his work and is now staying in Elkford instead of Sparwood, which decreases how much he has to drive and increases the amount he gets to sleep the four days he’s gone.
In July Laken and I boarded a plane to Scotland and took my Aunty Trudy with us, as Mark couldn’t get the time off to come along. We went not only to visit
family, show Aunty the sights but also because my beautiful cousin Ashleigh was getting married. The Trip was Amazing, very emotional and bitter sweet. Sweet because I was able to share something so close to my heart with Laken, as well as
the opportunity to introduce him to the Amazing family we have over in Scotland. Slightly bitter because I know my Mum would have loved to see Laken with everyone and it would have been nice to have Mark with us as well. My cousin’s wedding was beyond breath taking and one for the royal books for sure! I’ve never had such and experience nor will I, I’m sure! Laken donned a kilt and looked every bit the part. He did so well on the trip, adjusted well and slept everywhere and any where! Mark and I truly are lucky! We were able to visit lots of family, but of course it’s never long enough and I so wish they were closer! Hopefully some will be over to visit after Babe arrives!
With each new life that enters of course it seems that one leaves and I unfortunately lost my wonderful Uncle Eric July 1st who was an inspiration to all and truly reminded us to live life to the fullest. Shortly after returning from Scotland I also lost my Great Uncle Billy who too will be sorely missed…We have a few more angles watching over us this year..
In August Laken Celebrated his 2nd Birthday Car’s style and loved every minute of it. We are truly blessed to have such amazing family and friends within our lives who made his day extra special! Fall seemed to follow quickly behind with pumpkin festivals, drive in movies and of course tricker treating ! Each year and holiday becomes all the more fun and exciting with Laken. He has thoughts and ideas on everything and most definitely isn’t afraid to share! (no idea where he gets that from….)
With 2012 just around the bend, 2011 has set it up to be a pretty Amazing year and I cannot wait to see what the New year will bring! Wishing all of you Health, Love and Laughter this holiday season with a little bit more!
The Cesar’s
Mark, Ashley, Laken and Bump!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Sugar , Spice and Everything Nice that is what little girls are made of……
Our Growing Little Girl!!
Here is a few Ultrasound pictures as well as a few Bump pictures!
Here is a few Ultrasound pictures as well as a few Bump pictures!
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| 14 week Ultrasound! |
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| Head, nose and lips at 14 weeks |
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| Baby Girl at 20 weeks |
6 weeks pregnant
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8 weeks
 18 weeks  |
November I missed it......
Well not really….. but I missed it on our blog and it hasn’t been because of a lack of things to talk about…. October ended with Tricker treating…and me coming off work due to some complications… a blessings in disguise really! With this pregnancy I started spotting, something that sometimes happens with or without rime or reason. The last week of October we got our first glimpse of our little bundle of pure happiness and it was just as if not more Amazing then the first time we were able to see Laken… The ultrasound determined that we had a Happy and Healthy Baby for the age at the ultrasound and there was no visible reason causing the bleeding. The Doctor explained that sometimes with exertion and with the type of work I do it’s just to much and I need to take it easy. So that leaves lots of time for Laken and I to just hang out!
November was Also busy with Birthday parties, the birth of our god daughter Miss Maggie Neufeld, craft fairs, dinner dates and Christmas Shopping! Mark and I took off to Great Falls, the middle of December to do all our Christmas shopping without little eyes! It was a nice few days away, even though we of course talked about Laken the whole time… It was nice to have just us time! The trip though posed to much walking and again reiterated my idea of taking it easy and my body’s differs slightly but everything seems to be running smoothly!
We were also busy with hunting season, my birthday, Doctor appt’s, The Santa Clause parade, play dates, visiting family and another ultrasound! Not to mention the fires that also took place in November, which are not soemthing I'd like to go through again but am so thankful no one was hurt and no property was lost.
This last ultra sound was our 20 week, dating and gender determination scan. It wasn’t as neat as the first scan as unfortunately the tech took that away and she must have been having a bad day.. which is unfortunate when ones attitude can affect another’s experience. Regardless it was breath taking to see the little heart beat and to find out not only is babe Happy but that we are having a GIRL!!!! We are all beyond excited and cannot wait to meet her!!
Here are a few pictures from the end of October through November....
November was Also busy with Birthday parties, the birth of our god daughter Miss Maggie Neufeld, craft fairs, dinner dates and Christmas Shopping! Mark and I took off to Great Falls, the middle of December to do all our Christmas shopping without little eyes! It was a nice few days away, even though we of course talked about Laken the whole time… It was nice to have just us time! The trip though posed to much walking and again reiterated my idea of taking it easy and my body’s differs slightly but everything seems to be running smoothly!
We were also busy with hunting season, my birthday, Doctor appt’s, The Santa Clause parade, play dates, visiting family and another ultrasound! Not to mention the fires that also took place in November, which are not soemthing I'd like to go through again but am so thankful no one was hurt and no property was lost.
This last ultra sound was our 20 week, dating and gender determination scan. It wasn’t as neat as the first scan as unfortunately the tech took that away and she must have been having a bad day.. which is unfortunate when ones attitude can affect another’s experience. Regardless it was breath taking to see the little heart beat and to find out not only is babe Happy but that we are having a GIRL!!!! We are all beyond excited and cannot wait to meet her!!
Here are a few pictures from the end of October through November....
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| Laken at the Pumpkin Make a Wish Festival |
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| Laken and Uncle Damiel Carving Pumpkins |
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| Aunty Cassandra and Laken Carving more pumpkins |
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| Drive in Movie! |
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| Halloween! Getting ready to go trick or treating |
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| Laken and Great Grandma Kesler |
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| Laken and Daddy Just about to head out! |
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| Daddy and Laken making cookies |
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| Laken giving Brand New Baby Maggies kisses |
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| Daddy, Maggie and Laken |
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| Josh and Laken having a play date! |
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| Laken cheering on Morgan at her Ringette Game! |
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| Waiting for the Santa Clause Parade to start |
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| Mommy and Laken watching the parade |
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| Sleep over with cousin Cade and Grandma and Papa's |
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| Visiting with Aunt Julie and Uncle Horst!! |
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